leeseunggi making me sad. LOL

honestly, i was really happy today, considering i finished my finals. and going to TS in about 10 hours from now. LOL. i'm a later sleeper cant drop it. *blueks*

i passed across numerous blogs a day just to get scoops of SS501 and many Korea entertainment latest updates.

I streamed lots of anime when my connections are stable and moving at a WONDERFUL speeed*which is not now*

I photobucket everyday to upload pictures everyday.

i visit TSMYeng forum every 30 minutes to check for updates like as if i'm attached to it and felt uneasy when i didnt do it more than 4 times a day. *serious*

i stumbled on blogs to view my friends life. and their daily routine to catch up on them. and tell them something or drop by their tagboards to tell them i visited just to show them, how i missed them.

i missed charmaine, mei mei and tk. we shall hang out after ch and mm finished their A2/STPM k? =)

i missed my bunch of AJ9a where we used to gather around together for lunch almost every weekday. and miss the joyfulness we had there. =)

*was listening to leeseunggi's song* made me emo shit!*nonetheless nice*

sometimes, it made me wonder why there are so many type of human in this world. ya, i would definitely like to see them on their good and optimistic part. however, then there's a person with 2 personalities and the way he/she treat a person is beyond humane. what is there to do?? ignore? act as if we dunno?

sometimes, sympathy is there, sometimes its not. considering i'm not the sentimental type, the NOT part is lesser. I would really want to learn like how those sentimental and more understanding people think. but it just NOT ME. i cant act as if nothing happened when something happened and do nothing about it and putting it behind and move forward.
There is always a limitation in my degree of tolerance. I will not hate that person, i'll just measure him with a different type of ruler and definitely not a good 1. it affected me.

i know its not necessary to feel that all the time, but i really with that type of person would quickly disappear and on the contrary, i would think, what will happen to me when he/she disappear and never to come back? will i be happy or sad? its a question. I HATE MY CONTRADICTING BRAIN.

i'm sorry if i'm unable to forgive you. i'm sorry that i cant put this behind, i'm sorry that my treatment towards you are cold. because i'm being myself and i know reality is not always wonderful. as least, let me have a wonderful life of my own with my own painted colours. thanks.


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